Getting Figgy With it

 This week the farmer's market had peaches AND figs

 and I went into a bit of a fuge and bought

double batches of both, somehow ignoring the fact that 

I will have to actually eat a lot of the haul myself.

I will adjust to my oldest being back at college soon

but until then, I'll have to figure out what to do with 

the gifts of the season before they spoil.

Figs only last a day or two.

Eating them straight is GOD's perfect dessert.

They don't last at all though-not in the fridge or at room temp.

If the figs are ripe, you cannot sit around wondering what to do with them.

They go from firm, green nubs on the side of a branch

to caramleized vanilla nuggat

to mushy mess faster than you can blink.

I despaired at my ability to eat them all 

straight from the counter in time and decided to 

do something more elaborate.

Here are two very easy recipes for things to fancy up figs

in case you pull a glutton move like me and need something

to help you get them all eaten.

RECIPE 1:  FIGS IN HONEY SYRUP

Ingredients

about a cup of figs

2 TBSP honey

juice of a lemon

slice figs in half until they cover a shallow bowl

Mix honey with lemon juice

Pour honey over figs

Let sit an hour at room temp

This is good over pound cake with cool whip if you want to 

hear the echoes of your southern ancestors

but you can also listen for the sounds of the mediterranean

by putting it over greek yogurt.

Want to feel French?  Put it alongside a hard, sharp cheese.

Prefer a moroccan vibe?  sweet almond cake, strong coffee might take you there.

This is an easy easy trip to anywhere you want to go

that is warm and lazy.

RECIPE 2:  FIG TART

Total Ingredients List

about two cups of figs, destemmed and halved

2 TBSP butter + 6 TBSP melted

2TBSP Disarrono (or almond extract or vanilla extract)

15 sheets of thawed phyllo dough

1 package cream cheese at room temp
2 large eggs at room temp
1/2 cup sugar

2TBSP strawberry jam
juice of half a lemon
2TBSP balsamic vinegar

DON'T BE INTIMIDATED!

 This looks fiddly and I guess it kind of is b/c phyllo 

can be weird if you're not used to it. 

But there are basically four really simple steps to do

and it will only take you about 15 min if you 

can enlist a kid, 20 if you do it yourself.

Step 1:  Fruit Topping 

In a saucepan, heat the butter over medium high heat.  

Just before it starts to brown, add the flavoring.  

Let it cook for 1 min then add the figs to the mixture

 and lower the heat to medium.
Let the figs simmer about 3 min, tossing gently once or twice.  

Take off the heat and let cool a bit while you do the crust.

Step 2: Make the Crust
Put a peice of parchment paper on a large cookie sheet.  
Put a layer of phyllo dough on the parchment paper, brush with melted butter.

Put another layer of phyllo on top of that.  Brush with butter.

Repeat until you are tired of ever dealing with phyllo

which will take about 15 layers (about half a package of phyllo).

Little sweet tart (and the ready to be cooked fig tart)

Step 3: Cream Filling
Beat eggs, cream cheese and sugar using a hand mixer

until they are fairly smooth.
 No need to be too persnicktey about it.  

Spread in a semi-rectangular shape in the middle of the phyllo, 

leaving at least 2 inches of a border around the edge.

Use your fingers to place the figs face side up

on the cream filling.  
Fold the crusts along the edge up towards the filling 

and brush with (you guessed it, more butter)
Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until the edges are just browning.

Let cool for about 5 min.

Step 4:Glaze
Mix the jam, lemon juice and balsamic in a small bowl.
Brush the mixture above over the whole thing to 

give it a little shine and a little bit twinge of sweet/acid.
Try not to eat it all at once.

If you're doing a fancy dinner party vibe,

serve it with whipped cream, tiny bits of pistachio and flecks of fresh basil.

It will theoretically serve 10.

If you're a lazy household of gluttons,

this will theoretically serve 3

and there will be a mess of phyllo pastry littering the floor

around the stove

and your dogs will delight in vacuuming it up.

WRAPPING UP-THE PRESENT OF 2019

It's reflection time as we come to the end of a year and also the end of a decade.

Last year was the first year that I chose a word to focus on for the entire year and

that little investment paid off my friends.

As a quick refresher, I picked THRIVE as my word and truth be told...

I didn't really have a strong understanding of either it's meaning or 

how to manifest this spirit in my life.

I was just going to try a little-

try to focus on living life in a way that felt more joy filled and open-ended.

I held it loosely but also knew that this was the thematic focus for the year;

 a touchstone that I would use to underpin each day.

And holy shit did it work.

But not in the way that I thought it might.

If you pushed me at the time to try and define metrics of success for this focus,

 I would have probably imagined something like:

an organized Tupperware cabinet

new PR every month at the gym

a number on the scale that is remotely within my physician recommended BMI

family dinner every evening with my core crew

blog posts published weekly with ease

That last one has one of my most solid fantasies contained within it...

I thought if I focused on the desire I had to thrive

then all the things I want to do or produce in my life would feel easier.

What could be more important than making producing easier?

Wouldn't that mean I was thriving?

sheesh.

I will literally never get away from myself will I?

The thing is....work never really gets easier.

It's still work.

You just get faster at it.

(This is a paraphrase of a Greg LeMond quote)

Or thought of in a different way-if what I'm doing is super easy,

then it's probably not the work I'm meant to do.

My work is challenging (for me) because it's meant to 

change or transform me in some way.

If it's easy, then I'm most likely punching below my weight class.

So if it didn't make me produce more, 

earn me new friends or turn me into a supermodel....

then what did my focus on thriving do for me?

What makes me say it was useful or worthwhile so confidently?

Here are a few things I've gained from focusing on this word.

THRIVING IS NOT STRIVING

I have long equated hustling, moving, making with

some measurement of health or well being.

Maybe I've just confused all positive feelings or experiences with 

some westernized definition of success.

I've got a math equation hard wired into me that 

says run your own circus + don't actually die = good job

This is definitely an institutionalized thing in our current culture.

But.....

I seem more capable in this maze than the average person.

My brain is pretty lazy if it only has one thing to do.

Give it 20 things that need doing 

that are also challenging, creative, or maybe impossible 

and my engine starts to rev.

Say it's too had, add a pinch of whining,

and I will make things happen.

Lots and lots and lots of stuff going on at once

energizes me and feeds on itself.

However....I very easily go from energized to 

battle  mode; from fun to survivalist mentality.

What I've learned this year is that for me to thrive,

I need to do less.

It is very counter intuitive to me but every single time I got off

track, every time I felt miserable or 

found the bottom of my prolific energy source-

it was because I had too many irons in the fire.

Sometimes putting the puzzle together feels harder than it should

While I may feel energized by all the spinning plates,

I need to spin fewer than my max in order to feel centered.

For proper perspective,

I'm not saying that I reduced my focus down to one project

 or one iron in the fire.

I'm saying that I have 8 instead of 12.

Maybe one day I will narrow my focus to one thing at a time but I'm doubtful.

My spirit moves like a hurricane-

I learned this year how to ratchet it down 

to a category 1 instead of a category 5.

In 2019 I said NO to a lot of opportunities AND

still made progress on my own work,

still showed up in ways that left me satisfied and allowed me to grow.

I am honestly still surprised that catastrophes don't

occur when I pare down my list

but they don't!

In fact, no one really even cares.

Except me because I'm living a more present life.

LESS IS MORE

Staying on this similar theme of paring down...

I thrive when I have less.

This applies to lots of things but I'm going to focus on food as an example

since this blog was originally a food focused effort.

I thrive when my diet is fairly limited.

I'm sure this is obvious to everyone who wasn't obsessed 

with niche ingredients 

and fiddly little kitchen creations for years.

But this information was hidden under stacks of Food and Wine magazines 

and special holiday platters that I used 1.5X a year

so I couldn't actually get a good look at it until now.

I had in my mind that living a good life was somehow tied to variety.

After all, isn't that the spice of life?

Maybe it is but for me it's the kind of spice that leaves behind heartburn.

What I have learned this year

is that I feel great when I know there are standard 

food items in my pantry that are good for me, easy to prepare and tasty.

AND FINITE.

Tried and true, repeated a LOT, readily sourced with reasonable ingredients.

I am not going to cook for longer than 30 minutes a day.

I am not going to shop at multiple grocery stores on a weekend.

I am just not.

But if I am using variety as a measurement of satisfaction or health,

then I'll start doing all kinds of things that get in the way of actually thriving.

 I had to decide that it's ok to eat the same things for most meals

so that I could spend energy on other things.

For instance, most mornings I make a smoothie for breakfast.  

I've probably had this smoothie 300 times this year.

Quick recipe:

1 cup baby spinach

1 banana

1/2 cup almond milk

3-6 large ice cubes

1 TBSP crunchy natural peanut butter

1 scoop vital proteins collagen peptides

Blitz until smooth.

It is so tasty and amazing,

very filling and uncomplicated..

It also supports my cognitive function, 

is good for my hair and nails and skin,

keeps me full until lunch and virtually eliminates snacking.

I can find the ingredients at almost any grocery in my area.

I don't have to think about breakfast or fiddle with something special.

I don't have to wait for an oven to heat or keep something warm off to the side.

It is portable and takes less than a minute to make.

The worst challenge I have with this smoothie is that sometimes 

the bananas or the spinach ripen before I can use all of them.

No biggie-bananas freeze well and can still be used for this smoothie  

and I can tuck random sauteed spinach into just about anything.

Transparency-This salad is from the excellent team at FOUNT.  Simple and healthy.

I also want to point out that this strategy,

pairing down to the essentials, isn't boring.

(boring food is something I might have a phobia about).

I've just focused on the foods that I really love

and that also agree with me.

Like tacos with quick pickled kale slaw.

Egg roll in a bowl (totally great whole 30 recipe that I will forever adore).

Spicy roasted veggies and brown rice and lemon chicken.

I don't need a lot of variety when I have satisfaction with my choices already.

This focus applies to lots of things:

Clothes and shoes.

Parties and relationships.

Home appliances and furniture.

I don't need 700 options-in fact having all those options works against me.

I just the ones that are essential to support the life I want.

FUN SHOULD TAKE UP (LOTS OF )SPACE ON THE CALENDAR

Fun is a thing that is pretty specific to a person.  

What I think is fun might be your idea of a tooth extraction.

There are lots of things that I think are fun to do

but many of those are also precious or significant in my life.

It's hard to decide what is fun and what is important

about most of the things I spend time doing.

Which is why my new found love of Rugby is such a magical gift.

I am obsessed with Super Rugby and World Rugby.

I don't know if you can understand how bizarro this new focus is

for people who've known me all my life.

Sports before now were just not interesting to me in any form.

Of course I have a college basketball team that I pull for (I am southern after all)

but I was never more than a lackadaisical viewer or participant in sports.

Football-too slow.

Hockey-too cold.

Golf...that sport is just plain creepy.

Baseball-too much math and the outfits are weird.

I just couldn't get into any sport for longer than a highlight reel.

But right now, to me in this season-

rugby is one of the most fun and interesting things ever created.

I cannot get enough of it.

It hits all of the centers in my brain 

and feels a little bit like watching real life super heroes.

I watch highlights, I have tiers of favorite teams, coaches, players.

I know stats and watch honest to goodness sports nerds strategizing about upcoming games.

Really funny moment where Anton Leinart-Brown was the victim of a Welsh pantsing

I gave serious time to this new hobby in 2020

and that meant that I gave serious time to having fun.

Probably more than at any time in my life-including childhood.

As much as I love rugby, it is not that important to my daily life.

No one is going to be disappointed in me or 

vote me out of the club for watching or not watching it.

It's all fun, all the time.

My favorite team lost the world cup this year-

to a team they've beaten many times before.

It was a little sad but also fair-they got outplayed on one day when it really counted.

The ride was incredible and I got to be fully present and here for it.

So while fun is specific to a person,

I found a source of it in 2019 that takes up a decent block of my calendar

and sort of forces me to wallow in it on the regular.

Thriving is just not possible without fun.

I CAN TRUST MYSELF

Probably the most subtle but important thing I learned this year

while I was focused on thriving is that I can trust myself.

For me to thrive, I need to connect my heart, head and body for a good chat.

Every day or so; with intention.

And then I need to listen to the counsel that comes from that connection.

I proved again and again this year that I can and will treat myself as I would

treat a precious child or one of my best friends.

Each time I listened to myself and took the action that best supported me, 

I put a little marble into my own trust jar.

When I decided to hit pause on writing my book because I wasn't ready to do it yet.

When I contracted a weird infection that wasn't responding to the prescribed drugs.

When I needed a nap instead of a run.

When I needed a run instead of a cupcake.

When I needed a hug or a laugh or time alone.

I listened to myself and then supported myself.

Not because I was on a regime or had a target to hit.

But because I am important and I love myself.

This year of thriving has taught me about compassion and kindness...for myself.

2019 had so many gifts-some of them stung and some of them were sweet.

I focused on a word and I achieved something I couldn't even 

imagine at the beginning of the year-

self acceptance and compassion.

I've got a new word for 2020 but for now, I"m basking in the glow of a job well done.

Most useful phrase in my arsenal right now.  Works in almost every situation.

MISSIONS, BACKTALK, AND A RECIPE FOR CONNECTION

One of my life goals is to listen to God and do what God says.

If I'm honest, I am very bad at this.

God nudges me pretty regularly and sometimes I listen.

Especially if it's something easy like a word of affirmation

or an action that's in my wheelhouse.

If the nudge sends me somewhere I wouldn't want to go though...

well, let's just agree that sometimes it's hard to hear directions. 

God recently nudged me in relation to a mission trip

 with our church youth group.

Our youth group has decided on a theme of 'Creation Care'

for their 2019 mission and have used that statement to 

direct their focus towards a lot of interesting activities.

This trip was going to be working with beach restoration

and cleanup with several organizations in Wilmington NC.

Both kiddos said they wanted to go on the mission trip.

My initial thought was SWEET!  Lots of grownup time!

Nudge.

But I'm really busy at work!

Nudge.

The youth director hasn't even asked for chaperones!  

I am definitely not needed on this trip.

I could feel God's eyeroll and hand slap on the back of my head.

My baby.  Photo credit for all the photos from here down:  https://www.instagram.com/thepeakyouth/

Here's the thing:  I did not want to go.

It did not sound like something I wanted to do.

I love kids...well, I love my kids.

And kids generally like me.

But....I can be intense when I'm stressed.

A week with kids (and adults) who don't really know me

in conditions that are completely outside of my control

means I might turn up as someone tweakier 

than I would maybe prefer to present to the world.

Also, I am not a beach person.

I dislike sand and games.

Even if there weren't sharks, I don't like 

to have things touching me that I can't see in the water.

I have never learned the art of just sitting 

on a beach and reading-I need to be doing.

Finding animals or shells or crabs.

Which means I wear myself out pretty quickly
when I'm on the beach.

In spite of my insistence that this trip wasn't for me,

God kept nudging.

It was very annoying.

Eventually I agreed to just ask the youth director.

What if I wanted to come?

Is there space and a spot?

Could I be of use?
Pretty sure I heard a giggle from God here.

Of course there was.

Me in a dumpster taking crap from my first born.  There's a metaphor here....

The month before had me in mental knots.

Where would I sleep?

What would I eat?

Would there be coffee?

Will we have to listen to bad music and be surrounded by flies?

Should I pack lemons and chocolate tart?

How many shoes are too many shoes?

It's hard for me to let go of the details and 

just trust that whatever shows up is actually for me.

Which I think is part of why I needed to go on this trip.
I worked hard on being still, accepting what came
and finding joy in the fact that I am not in charge.
It worked for the most part.

Another reason this trip feels important is around the recipe for connection.
How do you recenter with your core friends or family?
Better yet-how do strangers become family in 24 hours or less?

There's a formula to make it happen that works almost every time

and yet it always takes me by surprise.

This week I experienced it once again

so while it's fresh in my mind, I thought I'd write it down.

Do you have time where you experienced connection?

Where you looked into a strangers eyes and 

realized you were both laughing at the joke?

I'd love to hear about it.

Ingredients:

Massive amounts of salt water (tears, sweat or ocean water are all interchangeable)

10-20 humans

Uncomfortable surroundings

Directions:

Accomplish at least 5 of these things within 24 hours.  

More is better.

Feel free to improvise along this theme.

Slay Some Monsters
Cockroaches count as monsters.
So does injustice or poverty or drywall that needs to come down.
Get after the job at hand with vigor as if your life depends on it.

Worship
Bookend the day with group prayer and peace, 
Group meditation, quiet walks in nature, staring at the stars are all acceptable.
Take just a minute to remember that you are
a tiny speck in a glorious, infinite place.
Remember that you don't actually have the answers
or the keys or the map.
Sing Along

Sing some songs-QUEEN, show tunes, Disney cartoon or awful pop.
Sing them off key and with gusto and with alternate lyrics.
Just sing it loud.
Hand gestures or extreme facial expression increase the effectiveness.
Sweat Buckets
Get really sweaty-so sweaty that the sweat acts like glue
and you are convinced it may never come off.
Sweat until your face runs into your shoulders
or you're missing essential micronutrients.
Sweat until you're unrecognizable, until
you become something new or lose your hard edges.
Share a Meal
Cooking a meal together adds bonus points
but the act of eating together is generally enough.
It doesn't matter what you eat-it matters that you do it together.
That you pass each other the salt or a fork.
That you talk about the incredible crunch of that sweet apple
or the gross feel of the bacon that you're eating anyway.
That you spend a few minutes fulfilling a basic need together.
Your body is being restored by the food and you're doing it together.
Play Around
Create a card game or play a game of tag.
Color a picture, splash in the ocean,
build a sandcastle that will be washed away.
Make a bracelet or a cartoon or an eyepatch.
Dress up like a superhero, even if the only prop you have is a beach towel.
Laugh Out Loud
Some of the best glue is laughter-
The snorts that are the result of some absurdity.
The tiny giggles that come out like bubbles.
Guffaws or chuckles or face covering shivers will all do the trick.
Help Someone
Shared compassion that result in action is an infection-
the good kind.
When you show care for someone else-
a child, a puppy, a refugee or a neighbor-
you are creating magic.
Do that where two or more are gathered and 
the magic is holy.