LESSONS ON CHOICE (LETTING MY ORCHIDS DIE)

My brain is a weird twist of bad science metaphors 

delivered to my conciousness in a fever dream.

I spend a lot of mental capacity trying to chase down these threads

and turn them into something useful but many of them just 

evaporate once I understand them.

A year ago, I started working with a Spiritual Director

and one of the 'fruits' of that connection is that

these ideas 'stick' better.

Our recent session started with discussing orchids.

She has a beautiful one in her new office that was really showing off

and she was understandably proud of it.

I shared that I have recently killed all my orchids and 

I am also proud of it.

Yep, you read that right.

I killed my orchids.

And I'm proud of it.

What?

Not my orchids....

I'm going to explain but before I go further,

I want to be clear.

If you are an orchid owner, if you delight in them

and choose to include them in your space,

I support that one thousand percent.

There are hundreds of varieties of orchids,

they grow all around the world in a lot of conditions.

They highlight the infinite creativity of the Creator

and how much GOD wants us to thrive,

even in conditions that are tough.

Nothing I say next should minimize that-ok?

A benefit of #quitting is I spend my time differently than I used to spend it.

Almost accidentally over the past year, I have managed

to cultivate a robust indoor garden.

I have cuttings in the windowsill,

clusters of old fashioned houseplants littered around every

room that I spend time in, and a running

list of botanical projects that means I spend several

minutes almost every day interacting with this indoor garden.

Now, if you know me at all, you know I have loved plants

my whole life and I've never had a season where I wasn't

growing something, tending to some green tinged space.

I *think* this is at Fairview Garden Center in Raleigh but I can't remember for sure

But if you're not a hort nerd, you might not

realize that I was barely cultivating this joy of mine

-choosing to focus my energy on outdoor efforts because

our modern spaces are NOT designed to support natural life.

Indoor heating dries out plants, air conditioning does the same

but often keeps them burning energy to buffer the chill.

And the light-good LORD the light is insufficient

for all but the most efficient photosynthesizers.

Our homes and offices are dark caves when we aren't present

and we put film on our windows to block out spectrums of light

that plants need.

It's pretty hard on us too if we're honest.

root cutting from a christmas cactus

Orchids though-

many of them can hack it inside our spaces.

These plants have evolved to thrive in conditions that are pretty

harsh and require them to pull moisture and nutrients from the air

with little direct sunlight while grasped onto the side of trees or rocks.

After living on a diet of air,

they produce a dramatically articulate bloom that 

lasts for weeks, sometimes months- a bright flag

waving on a stalk to attract a pollinator.

When the bloom is done, the plant will go back

to a haphazard mass of woody roots and waxy leaves-

unattractive by human standards but a smart use of resources

for a plant in such inhospitable environments.

Sometimes people throw them away after the bloom is spent,

trade them in for a new model that is already blooming

and avoiding the 'ugly stage' of 6-9 months before they 

have enough energy to send up another thin stalk topped with colorful flags.

We've had a few orchids in our garden over the years,

getting them to rebloom pretty often by ignoring them just right.

But last week, I noticed that both of the ones remaining

are on their last leg.

And I decided not to rehab them.

Can you spot the slmost dead orchid here?

In my current iteration, I'm actively working to create a life

that celebrates being nurtured and cared for.

A life that shines light on the black mold of shame.

That actively celebrates abundance, generosity, fulfillment.

I have made great strides in shedding many elements of diet culture

but I am nowhere near at peace with it.

The disordered relationship I have towards my health, my body, eating

and exercise may always be a challenge-an attitude

I have to cultivate actively because the passive protocol is so destructive.

And (for me) every time I look at an orchid, I am reminded

of how our culture has tried to convince me (and every other woman)

that we need to be the most glorious and beguiling

on the thinnest of margins.

How everyone else's joy and delight

is expressed most fully in our ability to bloom in spite of 

denying ourselves sustenance.

How we need to preserve this bloom for as long as possible

or we will be disposable since that's the only

benefit we bring to a space.

Brains are such bizarre things-it is obviously not the entire

Orchidaceae family's fault that I attach human meaning to their biology.

Orchids are truly glorious.

But for now, I don't want them to take up space in my physical

or mental garden.

I only want to see wild orchids, free 

in the environments where they can actually be pollinated

and have a chance to make something else

from all their courageous striving.

I let mine die-so that something new can take up that space.

Finally, I may cultivate orchids again-I may not.

There are no wrong choices really-

just decisions about what takes up space in your 

 (physical and mental) garden.

Since I get to make those choices,

I'm going to surround myself with reminders of the life

I intend to live, ruthlessly editing out anything that inhibits my own

ability to thrive and play.

What are you editing out or pulling into your life?

I'm leaning a little more towards joy every day.

My friend Melanie gave me this cute little ensemble

 

CONTAINER GARDENING-2017 Project Follow-Up

Remember those pots we did together a few weeks ago? 

I focused for a few posts on container garden tips and tricks

and used a project from our church as the example..

Here are some quick links:

Container Garden tips and tricks-Part 1

Container Garden tips and tricks-Part 2

Container Garden tips and tricks-Part 3

It turned out pretty rad.

I don't think there's been a single project 

this rewarding for me personally.

If you doubt that plants can welcome people

then you should see the faces and hear the comments

of our congregation when they enter.

Our goal was to help our church family 

feel welcomed and lifted up as they 

gather together.

Mission accomplished!

Many people actually touch these 

plants as they walk into the church.

I take that to mean that 

they find the pull of the plant material

and the beauty of the colors irresistible.

As immediately satisfying as these beauties were,

gardening is not something that 

I do for immediate (and only immediate) gratification.

With good planning, gardening 

is the gift that keeps on giving

as the plants mature.

In this post, I want to share some photos that demonstrate

 how the planning we did in the beginning

has allowed for these living creatures

to grow, evolve and change

in beautiful ways.

Late May (2 weeks post plant):

You can see that the plants are bigger.  

They are settling in enough to show their colors but

are still quite small compared to their mature height.

There is a lot of visual interest (different shapes, textures) while they get going

so the viewer doesn't feel like there's a pause happening.

The Dahlia in the middle was showing off quite a bit this week.  

Also, the double impatiens were starting to kick it up. 

Having single doses of an individual plant

keeps the eye from trying to balance everything in symmetrical form.

Keeping the palette similar (lime and purple)

means that in spite of different form/texture, 

everything in the pots seem to 'go together'.

The lime green coleus and sweet potato vines really shine here 

and have started to quickly add on size.

We are seeing height begin to reach

but also seeing the drape over the sides 

begin to add dimension.

These planters are beginning to show us the 3-D design

we envisioned.

Mid-June (5 weeks Planted):

 If we had not planned for this....

we would be freaking out within a month of planting these beauties.

Look at how much size the plants have put on 

within 5 short weeks?

Can you believe these are even the same pots?

Look at that Lantana sending out fireworks!  

You can barely see it in the first picture.  

And the elephant ears have tripled in size.

The fountain grass is a great backdrop, 

 the Canna lily shot up and is blooming!  

I didn't get a good side view on this day

but the sweet potato vine and coleus on the sides

are starting to spill out.

We had to move the pots away from each other

to give them space and keep them

from crowding each other out.

Early July (6 weeks Post-Plant)

Approximately 6 weeks after planting, these pots have

lost their minds.

Can you see those petunias and sweet potato

spilling over the sides?  They reach almost to the ground.

The Canna lilies and elephant ears almost cover the brick.

And the color focus has shifted once again

as the Lantana takes a short pause

before it blooms like gangbusters again.

You can see more of the lime and purple contrast

happening in these photos.

One of the best parts so far is that we've only had to water 

these plants about twice a week.

I expect that to change as the summer heats up

and the plants become even more gigantic.

It's also likely that as the summer continues

and plant growth continues

that we'll have to do some strategic pruning.

The Lantana has already needed some trimming.

The pots on the right side get slightly more shade than the pots on the left.  

It's interesting to see how different plants have 

responded to the slightly different micro-climate.

Well...it's interesting to me the plant nerd.

CONTAINER GARDENING TIPS AND TRICKS- PART 1

 Hey!  We're not going to talk about something super emotional and chewy this week!

Are you relieved?

There's a whole lot of gardening stuff floating through my world
 and the general gist of the conversations are..."plants are weird", 
"I don't know why I killed them but I have killed them many times",  
or "plants will just not do what I want them to do".  
Why do people think gardening is so hard?
I guess anything that is unfamiliar can be overwhelming.
It appears to be difficult to remember that plants are ALIVE
they need to be cared for in ways that are not the same as other 
living things we need to care for...say dogs or children.
As a total plant nerd in a family of gardeners....
this lack of general plant knowledge can be hard for me to remember.
I have put my foot in it lately by assuming that people know about plants.
Sometimes my arrogance shows up in odd ways.
Like say....laughing out loud when someone says they're going to grow all 
their produce needs organically in the (tiny) pots on their deck.
Oh wait....you were serious.
oops.

So...for the next few posts I want to share some info 
about how to successfully choose and grow plants-
specifically how to grow them in containers.
I'm offering some long winded advice

with some tips that should help up your game!

As an example, I'm going to use a small weekend redo 
of the main entrance of our church.  
If you like before and after stories, this is a good one for you!

The Peak Connecting the Disconnected

I love love love my church.

I hope everyone who walks towards those doors feels
invited in and welcomed with open arms.
Many people work to make that intention a reality-
they serve with their time, their gifts, their hearts.
The space where we come together is special.
My husband and I recently offered to use our gifts to 
enhance this space and over the next few posts, 
I'll break down the ways that we used our knowledge of plants 
and container planting to get the best result.

PICTURE IT

As you walk up....what do you notice?

 Part of the reason people garden is to add beauty to an area.
I know that beauty is a somewhat subjective topic-not everyone has the same style.
However, as marketers everywhere know....we do find some things universally pleasing.
We're not always aware of our preferences or our perspectives.
It can be easy to distract us from the bigger view by focusing on the little details.
There's an easy way to help shift your perspective now that we have digital cameras built into our phones.
Take a picture.

I take lots of pictures when I'm working on projects.  

It helps put things into perspective.

Here's a picture of the main entrance of our church.

Basically a simple, public space.  
Everything is symmetrical.
Neat and tidy.

When I look at this picture, I am noticing the planters-

I'm noticing that they don't seem to belong.
I'm not just being a plant-freak here...this will look off to most people.

There's nothing wrong with these planters per se.

In a different place, they would be great.

However, in this case, they almost disappear and seem accidentally placed.

It's not obvious what isn't working until you step back.
The picture helps solidify the scale and show you what is off.
They are too small for the space.

Bottom line for this tip - you need to know the scale of the space
before you can fill it appropriately.

A picture will help.

ODD NUMBERS

Take another look.....

In addition to being too small....there is something not right about the number of pots here.  

I mention this because I have fiddled with things for a looooong time 
before I realized that the reason it's not working is because 
I have an even number of things.
Why does it matter if you have an odd or an even number of things?
I don't know for sure but there is scientific data to support our innate desire for symmetry.
Here's a very small set of pictures to help you understand it visually.

One thing? Looks cool. What a statement!
One thing can be as wild and unstructured as it wants to be.
One thing is individual.
It can be small or large.
It can grow sideways or upright.
There's no point of reference.

Look how beautiful that is!

Two things?  The inner critic wakes up!
If you have an even number of objects,
then they better be symmetrical, identical, mesmerizingly perfect.
Two things need to be balanced and twin-like.
If one of the plants grows bigger or broader or just to it's own drummer
it can be difficult for your brain to appreciate it.

why is that one on the right so tall?

Three things? Back to cool. 
We can relax again into a zen-like hippie trance.
Three things can be more free and wild.
We don't expect them to match each other.

 Beautyberry clusters 

Another related thing is that even-numbers scream formality to us.
Even-numbered things are great for some spaces or projects...
formal gardens, castles, government spaces, medicine doses, baking recipes.
Even numbers should be reserved for spaces (or plants) that
can be measured and controlled.
They are not great for things that can grow and change on their own.
They don't give as much room for life to happen.

My advice is....Why risk the inner critic?

When in doubt, stick with odd numbers.

This holds true for filling the planters too.
Buy 1, 3, or 5 plants for each pot (or 7 or 9 or 11)
Avoid buying 2 or 4 or 6 for a single pot.

One small problem...this entrance is already symmetrical!

Has it been decided for us?
Do we automatically have to continue the symmetry?
Well....we could go that route.
In a formal space, that might be the choice to make.

Very formal symmetry here will say
'Come in and do things the way we've always done them'
It will not say 'come on in and bring something different'..
There can be comfort and value in that...it's just not what needs to happen
at the church that connects the disconnected.

Instead....we're going to trick our inner critic.  
We're going to to add some odd numbers on top of the symmetry
to add some energy and welcome without upsetting the balance of the space.
It is possible-I'm not making this up.

Of course....sometimes it's hard to let go of the need for symmetry. 
Even in places where it doesn't belong. 

Consider reading other posts...I recommend anything tagged #controlfreak.

The yellow rectangles are the size of accent you need.  

Back to our picture of the church entrance for a minute.
For this particular space, I will need to have something about 5'x4'.

I don't know what that something is yet...but that's the size I need to fill.

You're probably thinking....5' x 4'....that's pretty darn big.

It is.  

It's bigger than me.

To go smaller will always look just a little bit off.

No matter what, I've got to have something in here that will be about 5 feet high.
I can do that in a variety of ways-with plant material, with trellis or sculpture.

 I'll need a collection of pots or a pot that expands out to fill the space around it to about 4 feet.
And since I want to invite people in, I need to find a way to incorporate lots of 
odd numbered things.

If I can't do that, then I need to just leave it alone.
Go big or go home.

So now what?  How do I decide what to put in here?

Stay tuned......

SUBURBAN GARDENING-DECADE IN

My front porch in October.  

I'm tired of deep meaningful conversations.  

My therapist has me doing an intense weekly delve into my childhood trauma.  

Good work that needs to be done.

My country is in a state of turmoil.

My metaphorical neighbors are having a hard time loving each other.

Everyone wants to be right

and have that mean that the other guy is wrong.

I don't want to talk about that either.

This peony was given to me by my Grandmother...it is simultaneously loud and gracious, just like us.

My church is struggling to find a voice

that doesn't magically sooth every single perspective and member

and still stands for the poor, downtrodden, and dis-enfranchised.

you know...

like Jesus did.

I can't even talk about that.

So I'm going to post some pictures

and some yard tips

that should illustrate somewhat

how my yard is doing since I wrote that long ago post.

Hellebore beside my porch....sneaky winter flowers.

I was going to try and post side by side pictures.

But that got technical real quick.

And it is winter and all.

So I decided to post some shots of flowers in this over grown,

matured and well-loved

suburban yard.

When we moved in, our soil was literally rubble.

Left over from the build.

There were some plants in the tiny yard.

But they were haphazardly placed

and relatively unimaginative.

Daffodils in a sea of lime green Creeping Jenny

Here is a little of what I know about gardening in small spaces.....

1. Color and texture should be in every space of your garden.

Every damn space.

Don't forget to look high and low.

Yes, the space should flow but...

make little vignettes OFTEN.

I have two camellia plants in my yard-one is a fall bloomer, one is a winter bloomer.  

In addition to cut flowers, they look great in the yard,

provide foliage for Christmas crafts

and a place for birds to perch.

They are also NONBORING (helleri hollie..i'm looking at you)

backdrop for smaller shrubs and perennials.

They are distinct, add their own beauty AND allow other plants to shine.

C. japonica-the winter bloomer.

3.  Set a color palette and keep to it

By the front bed....Purple Heart, Loropetalum, Impatiens, Hydrangea, Creeping Jenny

This is the hardest one for me. 

Because I love them all...all the flowers.

All the time.

I have been mostly successful sticking to lime greens and hot pinks

 with a dash of purple or yellow thrown in.

It works for me.

If I am tempted in early spring or fall then I turn 

the back deck into a short term color wheel.

The perennials all fall into this color scheme and so prevent my chaotic, overplanted yard

from LOOKING chaotic or overplanted.

Mostly.

4. BUY WELL

Annuals are like costume jewelry...made to overdo it.  

They won't last and you can never (rarely) have too many

 as long as you stick to a color palette.

Perennials are like precious jewelry.  

Invest in pieces you'll love forever.

Perennials are trees, bushes, and perennial flowering plants.

Carefully consider each purchase of these.

Also....you can't just plop a tree in the middle of the yard and expect to have a garden.

Here's an idea of the scale of plants you'll need:

For every tree, try to add at least 3 bushes.

For every bush, try to add at least 3 perennials (I prefer 5).

For every perennial, try to add at least 3 annuals.

If you keep to this rule, you'll have layers of height.

But in a small space, you also have to know how tall that tree is getting

and how wide that bush will be.

They're like baby lions...cute when they're little but they grow fast.

Pick well in small spaces....

Find an evergreen bush that also blooms and or bears fruit.

It is possible.

Get at least 3 seasons out of each perennial plant.

Spring flowers, summer shade, fall color and something interesting in the winter.

Beautyberry...worth every square inch of my garden that it takes up.

4.  Mix in beauty and usefulness

There is no reason that you can't have flowers and edible plants even in tiny spaces.

Mix them in together.

Buy dwarf varieties for pots and patios but also consider them in the yard.

Tomatoes are exotic and beautiful.

Lettuce can fill in for sprint annuals.

Kale and cabbage love to be with pansies.

We mix in veg with annuals often...but we also finally gave in

 and planted a side vegetable bed.

It is beautiful and functional.

Two views of our garden.....the first is late late summer-

pansies went in with the marigolds, 

tomatoes are done

greens and fall crops are planted

parsley and peppers are still kicking

This shot is very early spring.

Purple kale is huge

Carrots are ready to go anytime

pansies still peaking out

spring peas are climbing the trellis' on the sides

(we had to ring it with rabbit wire because the bunnies were eating us out of veg)

 We are a decade in.....once again life proves that in spite of 

concrete, runoff, poor drainage...LIFE WINS.

You can overcome any challenge as long as you keep trying

and you don't even have to try that hard.

Just keep at it, one pile of compost and one cup of water at a time.

This tiny garden is awesome and amazing.

It doesn't stop for elections, tax designations or denominational struggles.

It just keeps powering through.

And that is something to remember when you just can't even.