THE BEST FRIENDS (MIGHT BE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU)

I believe that every person who crosses my path

was meant to cross my path.
(See BE HERE NOW (GIFTS IN THE PRESENT) for a more complete 
understanding of my particular pathology.)
This belief leads me to look for and find magic in connections.
It also makes for interesting reflections.
I see divine providence in friendships as much as anywhere else.
Especially friendships that start based on proximity-
but grow into something much, much more.

One of my daughter's best friends is a lovely girl who I'll call A.

They met about the time they learned to crawl, in preschool.
Our families have some things in common-
both sets of parents work, value education and are based around RDU.
Both families have a son and a daughter, laugh often, and 
are populated with interesting, charismatic personalities.
Both families also are involved and invested in community.
We have a lot of similarities.
However....there are lots of surface level differences.
A's parents are significantly more educated than we are.
They are of Indian descent-first generation Americans.
They have an incredibly broad family support system-
often visiting India or hosting relatives multiple times a year.
I feel like I've met so many of their relatives 
(who are all so interested and kind and charming) 
that they must have 4 mothers and fathers each.
Our extended family is also far-flung but infinitely less connected.
We might see relatives outside of our home state once a decade.
There are a lot of things that seem more different than alike:  
food favorites, perspectives on pets, vocations, and religion to name a few.

What I'm trying to say is....we are not twin families.
We have similarities but we also have a lot of differences.
In spite of how strong the girls' connection was during preschool, 

both families thought their affinity for each other would fade once 
they started elementary school-new friends, new structure, new challenges would mean that there was less focus for each other.
Their last year of preschool was a montage of bittersweet conversations
 as the adults tried to prepare ourselves for the transition-
both the transition to 'real' school and 
the transition away from known touchstones.
I remember us talking about it and hugging each other and being so grateful that we got to witness this connection for their first few years.
How glad we are to love them,
what a gift we have been to each other,
let's take one more picture together for posterity.

My daughter decorated my work whiteboard with inspiration.  What does the flaming rainbow represent?

Wow....were we wrong.
Turns out the youngsters had some things to teach us.

They haven't let go of each other.
They only manage to see each other about three times a year 
but they remain connected.
I wish I could explain cool their bond is...

mostly because I want to describe how magical it is

for those of us watching from the outside.

They introduce each other to friends like you would introduce royalty.

You can hear the ALL CAPS when they say each others names.

What they have is so strong and self-affirming

-they give each other such support and respect.

I have learned as much about kindness and grace and compassion

by knowing this family and witnessing this friendship

as I have ever learned in church.

Maybe more....because this friendship is completely without judgement

or a need to control or refine the other person.

Instead, they've shown interest and care for what matters to the other.
They have loved their neighbor-
the person that showed up beside them-
from the get-go.
And they are just not going to stop!

These girls-from such different family backgrounds, ethnicity and religion-

have never questioned once how much they mean to each other.

They've never said...oh, you're a different religion, 

we should draw some boundaries or 

try to change something about how you see the world.

They've discussed Christmas and Diwali.
Elections and wars.

Superbowl victories and college affiliations.
Slime and flip shirts.
They listen and appreciate each other-
and occasionally disagree.

The Universe gifted them to each other and as a by-product, 

their families have been blessed as well.

I love this girl-as if she were my brother's daughter.

I cheer for her, invest in her, and pray for her.

She (and her family) have become part of our family.
All because we shared the same orbit for a while

and these girls opened their hearts to each other.

Consider your own friendships and how they began.
Did you find someone just like you?
Did you get put in that college dorm or third grade class
and pay attention to who was beside you?
Were you looking for a friend or did you just happen to find one?
The people in our orbits, the ones that cross our paths,
become our friends and family-when we open our hearts to the possibility.
What friends exist in your life because you opened your heart?
#beherenow