I would like to start this little ditty with some notes of gratitude.
If you're reading this, then I want you to know how much
I appreciate that you took a sec to check in with me.
Our collective notion of community took a hard right a
couple of years ago and you might not realize it...
but you are part of mine and I hope I'm part of yours.
Some of us still walk together in real life and some of us
can only connect with each other virtually.
However we found each other, we continue to matter to each other.
That's not a small thing.
Thank you.
I can't remember who initiated me into this practice but thanks to my
natterings, I can see that I publicly started talking about
choosing a word to focus on here waaay back in 2019.
The thing about intentions is they don't always work
out the way you want them to.
I wanted to thrive and I made some progress along that way.
But by the end of that year, I felt I didn't really understand
what that meant with any kind of excellence
and so the next year I decided to practice.
The thing about practice is...you screw up and fail a lot during it
so that you can get better at doing the stated goal.
When you don't hit your stats in practice, it starts to beg a few questions.
It felt like 2020 just bled into 2021 and my practice stats were pretty poor
so I tried to keep practicing.
By the end of 2021, I felt further from thriving than I've felt in my whole life.
I tried benching myself, tried to stay on the team or in the mix
even in a small way but every move I made led back to the same thing.
My soul (and my body) dying, slowly and by measurable increments.
Then last year...LAST YEAR!
So many things.
Cleared the deck.
Opted out.
Let my ideas of myself
and of other people finish dying.
All the way to the ground.
And I finally managed to thrive.
I managed to practice thriving.
By quitting.
It feels like my word choices started at the wrong end of the sentence
but I got there eventually.
Sometimes I think I'm in the middle of a big
cosmic joke and I'm the punchline.
I'm going to keep practicing,
keep quitting things that don't serve me,
and I finally know what it feels like for me
to thrive so I guess God knew I'd be down for a good joke
even if it took a long time to set it up.
It's time to add a new word to the bouquet
and as so often is the case, I knew the feeling
I wanted to evoke before I had the language right.
It wasn't until I was on my way to ring in the new year with
the Avett's and my favorite human
that I realized what my heart was trying to say.
In 2023, I'm going to work on #playing
and see what new magic becomes visible.
What jokes I can be apart of, what music needs
my voice to harmonize, what problems could use
a little subversive transparency, and what systems need
a little mixup.
 |
| We started off New Year's Even playing with the Avett Bros. |
Many of you are sharing and posting your word for the year
on social media platforms and I really enjoy seeing those insights.
The reason the word pulls you, the hopes you have for how that word
might move you along and the intention to push into it, even when it isn't perfect
get me every time.
You're all so wise and creative and overflowing with energy
it can sometimes side-swipe me with awe.
I'm grateful for your focus in self-serving ways too.
What you pull into the world, impacts all of us.
When you lift up yourself or focus with intention on growth
it ripples out.
Even if you can't see it.
Even if you think that is malarky.
You don't have to see the impact of your actions
or agree on them or be focused on anything other than your own paper
to make a difference in your community.
In fact, all you really need to do is focus on your own life
(in a healthy, sustainable way).
And trust the rest of us to work on ourselves.
That's how we make a new world.
One intention at a time
that builds towards a collective experience
that is better than the one we share together right now.
So thanks world builders.
I'm glad to be in this one with you.
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