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| Art by me, frame by my husband. I've never sold one of these-they're pretty heavy. |
I have talked about my daily support efforts in Denial of Service.
They are:
Sleep 8 hours
Pray
Eat Good Food
Move this Body
Generally, if I'm doing these four things,
I can feel confident that I'm taking care of myself,
that I'm on track and not going to get burn out.
I can also be pretty sure that JOY,
the most essential quality in my life,
will show up as a by-product
of my practice.
I am a naturally optimistic and upbeat person.
I take the chaos of life, get knocked down and get back up smiling.
I annoy the world with my can-do, let's do this thing attitude.
There is no problem that can keep me down or out for long
and I am here to tell you...
I have no idea why this is.
Don't hate me...I didn't do anything to acquire this gift
and I don't feel somehow superior because I have it.
It's just something I was born with.
A constant feeling of LIGHT.
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| Art by me, sometimes for sale at Etsy. |
Not lately though.
Lately...I have been calmly and resolutely suiting up every day
well rested, physically fit, nutritionally sound,
connected to my Creator and .....
pretty dead inside.
There have been too many hits coming my way.
Too many people that I care about self-destructing.
Too many reasons to give energy to situations
that don't restore or refresh my soul.
Ups and downs are a normal part of life
but this is a decimation of my self.
I am buried in the mud
and if the light is shining right in my face
I just can't see it.
Worse...things just aren't rolling off of me the way they normally would.
Negative thoughts are around every corner
and it's really difficult for me to avoid taking things personally.
This is real and this is where I am living currently.
I'll be here as long as I'm here.
I'm making space for the sadness-
welcoming the emotions to the table because
they are all beloved guests.
It's nice when they visit.
I learn so much from each of them.
I don't need them to rush away
or be shoved in a closet.
The light will come back.
It is a certainty.
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| Come on in, set a spell. |
In the meantime,
I want to talk about Extreme Self Care.
It is a habit that is fairly new for me-but like most habits,
I get better at it the more I practice.
Extreme self-care looks a little bit like being selfish
and occasionally may seem rude or even weak.
It looks like stepping away from a conversation
where I would normally be a bridge or a mediator.
It means reminding myself that most things
ARE NOT MY JOB
and
CANNOT BE FIXED.
It means allowing my emotional equilibrium to factor
into my time management matrix.
It means setting a time where I will handle business that drains me
and not thinking about that business until exactly that set time.
Sometimes it looks like not answering my phone
or responding to messages until that time.
Sometimes it looks like going to work
at a place where I'm beloved and respected
and focusing on that business as an escape.
In Extreme Self Care mode, I don't have any room
for negotiation with the normal items on my self care list.
Sleep 8 hours might turn into 10 on the weekends.
Moving my body might turn into a
loooooong walk by myself listening to a podcast.
Eating well is one of the first things I drop when I'm struggling
so when I'm practicing Extreme Self Care I monitor my food intake.
There is occasionally a graph required
with calorie count and nutritional intake.
In Extreme Self Care, praying starts in the morning,
continues through the day,
and ends as I drift off to sleep.
Sometimes the prayer is THANK YOU
but in this season is is also often
WHAT THE FUCK?
or
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
and
I HEAR YOU, I DON'T LIKE IT.
Those prayers are all hallmarks of Extreme Self Care seasons.
GOD is bigger than anything my human can imagine
and can handle my ridiculous tantrums.
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| In the summer, I make gardens and necklaces. In the winter, I make pompoms and paintings. |
It means saying 'NO' when it's not something that
my soul immediately screams 'YES' to.
Even if it's something I would normally be down for....
gardening, church volunteer opportunities, lunch with a bestie-
in the Extreme Self Care season,
all bets are off.
It means going for the comfort-
in foods, in clothes, in people.
It means listening to music
loud and on repeat.
It means creating-even in small little ways
if I can't find the spark for something big.
It means taking lots of Vitamin D,
having an extra cup of coffee,
long baths with Epsom salts,
and essential oils in large quantities.
It means that any non-essential projects or efforts
will be laid down temporarily.
I treat myself as though I am sick.
With a contagious disease.
And I take myself out of the game.
Until I feel like I am restored.
Extreme self care is first aid for the soul.
If you need it now
or you might need it later,
I hope that you give it to yourself.
I can say with 100% certainty
that you are worth it,
you are beloved,
and the world will not fall apart if you take
time to care for yourself.
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